It might sound a bit morbid but I started to research funerals because I had decided that when my time was up I would like to be buried under a tree. Although I would still like this I am not quite so certain this is such a good idea now because during my brief research I discovered quite a lot of information which rather disturbed me.
First of all I will apologise for the length of this article but I got a bit carried away but please bear with me it is an important issue.
The first thing I discovered was that a 'woodland' burial was not an easy option where I live. Secondly, I discovered that many of our 'traditional' means of disposal are not very environmentally friendly. Thirdly I realised that we really need to re-evaluate how we deal with death in our society.
We are all mortal and we all have to go sometime and, more importantly, somewhere. Some people have beliefs that help determine how and where they will go and others don't really care what happens to their bodies. But I rather think that we should all care if not for ourselves then at the very least for the sake of future generations. I'm afraid to say that our more recent ancestors made a grave mistake (pun intended).
Without being aware of it I suspect most of us have inherited particular ideas about death and funerals not least that the subject is not openly discussed. Most people see graveyards or cemeteries in their area and may be aware that it is possible to buy burial plots and most people are probably aware that cremation is now the 'normal' method of disposal. But now we need to take a look at how we historically arrived at this situation. The following information comes from a government Memorandum by Dr Tony Walter:
Throughout the Middle Ages throughout Western Europe, the dead were buried in or around the local church. Old bones made way for new burials, rendering the system sustainable for centuries. It became unsustainable for two reasons:
(a) From the 17c, the fashion arose of seeing the grave as family property, along with the desire of the middle classes for a perpetual grave. The churchyard above ground began to fill up with perpetual memorials.
(b) From the late 18c, the population explosion meant that new burials were uncovering not old bones but still rotting flesh-hence the burial crisis of the early to mid 19c. The urban churchyard below ground was now also full.
In other European countries the burial crisis was resolved by creating new cemeteries in which the re-use of graves was carefully planned and determined by local conditions. The UK responded by creating large out of town cemeteries with perpetual graves. Eventually land shortage led to the increase in cremations.
We have inherited countless full graveyards and cemeteries many of which are neglected and overgrown (Oxford city has four cemeteries in use and ten which are full, neglected and used as a meeting place for drug users). There are a few local authority cemeteries which do recycle the graves albeit very slowly (Oxford leases graves for 75 years) while on the outskirts of our towns crematoriums silently reduce the majority of our dead to fumes and ashes. More recently woodland and nature reserve burial grounds are being created, mostly by private landowners, where once again it is possible to purchase a plot in perpetuity.
We live in a consumer society which demands choice and it is becoming increasingly fashionable to demand choice in death as well as life.
It became fashionable in the 17th century to own graves in perpetuity but in retrospect we can see that environmentally and probably also socially this was a mistake. The Victorians introduced the fashion for elaborate funerals, coffins and memorials which to a large extent remains with us and has created a thriving death industry and increased the costs for everyone. (This has been much further developed in the US and, if we're not careful the trend may catch on here)
The latest fashion of woodland burial, although on the face of it more natural, is only a continuation of the earlier innovations. People expect a place for themselves in death and if they are lucky enough to be able to afford it there is a choice of rather beautiful locations to choose from.
Let us contrast the Jewish way of death. The tradition in Judaism is to keep funerals as simple as possible to make everyone equal in death. They use a plain wooden casket to demonstrate all are equal both rich and poor and to free the family from any sense of duty to spend more than they can afford. This does seem more sensible and if this idea was combined with environmentally friendly sustainable public burial grounds as a viable alternative to cremation it would solve many problems.
Depending on where you live you probably do at least have a choice of cremation or burial.
CREMATION
Cremation became popular largely due to land shortage for burial as a result of people wanting to own their graves. Cremation is the now most popular method of disposing of the dead in Britain with about 70% choosing or being persuaded by undertakers to use this option.
Cremation used to be presented as the environmentally friendly option but more recently there have been increasing environmental concerns about the pollutants being released into the atmosphere. Although EU laws have been tightened on emissions there are still pollutants in the invisible gases. According to one source "Crematoriums are thought to be responsible for approximately 9% of airborne mercury emissions, caused by the combustion of dental amalgam, 12% of atmospheric dioxins, pollutants linked with cancer and other illnesses, and emissions of the chloride and formaldehyde used in the embalming process. " Another environmental issue with cremation is the use of fuel. Most crematoriums are gas fuelled and ironically, the stricter emissions controls in recent years have resulted in a significant increase in the amount of energy needed to operate incinerators in fact about three times as much.
However if you really want to be cremated you can offset some of the environmental problems by refusing to be embalmed, which isn't necessary, and choosing a 'green' coffin. More information on embalming can be found at Croydon Council's site.
Cremation is sometimes cheaper than burial. But in some areas it is cheaper to be buried - it depends entirely on your local council. The current charge at Oxford Crematorium is £340. To this must be added the fees for 2 doctor's certificates currently about £ 90 giving total of £430.
BURIAL
Cemeteries are usually owned, managed and maintained by town and parish councils and these have their own rules, charges etc, which vary considerably from area to area. I had difficulty in finding any information about the facilities available in Oxford. The Oxfordshire county council includes five district councils and 317 town and parish councils. The county council's website had no information about facilities at all and only one of the five district councils web pages gave some limited information. I was rather surprised at this because during my search I had discovered that many local authorities have a very different approach to death and funerals. Some have lots of helpful information and seem concerned to inform people about their rights and to care for the environment. Carlisle, for example which was the first to offer woodland burial also offers discounts if you choose a fuel saving environmental cremation. Cardiff County Council have a very useful section on diy green funerals and a list of 'green' coffin suppliers.
Several Councils I came across have adopted the Charter for the Bereaved Other enlightened Councils offer civil funerals.
Perhaps all councils should be required by law to publish enough information to assist locals to make an informed decision on their own funeral arrangements. I am certainly going to address this matter with my local council.
Anyway on the Oxford City website I read that Oxford offered woodland burial plots and telephoned to find out more. The response was enough to put me off dying locally. When I said I was enquiring about a burial plot he asked me where I lived and he then said I would be charged double fees because I lived outside the city boundary. This amazed me but the man explained that we have burial rights in the council area where we pay council tax to and if we want to be buried somewhere else we have to pay more. The price quoted to me was £760 for two people (so it must be about £380 for a double plot for locals) and this conflicted with the information on the website which said the plots were single. It was the same figure for a traditional burial plot or for a 'woodland' plot.
I have since been informed by a local funeral director that this was a conservative estimate and it would be more likely to cost in excess of £1000. I asked if this price was forever and he said 'of course not it's for 75 years and that's a lot longer than many places give.'He told me to try the local parish council. I contacted them and was told that they do not allow natural or woodland burials.
So the situation seems to be that although I have burial rights in my local parish they will not allow me to have a natural burial. Now it seems to me that if one's local council don't offer you the facilities you want and others do you should be able to transfer your council tax contribution to another council and not have to incur a double fee.
I do of course have other alternatives. I could be buried in one of the private woodland burial grounds or even purchase a small plot of land as it is quite legal to be buried anywhere you like as long as you have permission from the landowner. But as I mentioned earlier I think I may change my mind and go for a recycled plot in the interests of environmental sustainability.
THE CEREMONY AND SOMEONE TO CONDUCT IT
You may personally wish to have a very 'alternative' funeral but this might upset some members of your family. This raises the issue of who is the funeral actually for the deceased or the mourners. In reality it is for both and both need to be considered. So even if you are no longer around to worry about it do consider carefully if your funeral is the most appropriate moment to indulge in your wildest fantasies.
If you do want something more unusual for the sake of those left behind you might want to consider a funeral in two parts (e.g. cremation ceremony and separate scattering ceremony or burial ceremony and tree planting or other memorial ceremony) with a slightly different emphasis in each.
Any one can conduct a funeral ceremony but this is one thing you cannot do yourself even if you have planned every other detail. There are some lovely ideas for music, poems and readings etc on the Internet but the best one I found seems to have gone missing. If you have planned the ceremony yourself you could get a friend or a sympathetic funeral director to conduct it . Alternatively you could use one of the following organisations.
Life Rites have a nationwide register of people who are experienced and willing to officiate at rites of passage and life celebrations. They can also help plan a funeral.
The Humanist society offers a funeral ceremony for people who do not want a religious one. They say on their website
The kind of funeral ceremony chosen must be right and appropriate for the person who has died and their close family. Nothing in a humanist ceremony would offend people who may be uneasy about a non-religious funeral. The idea is not to be hostile to religious beliefs, but to focus in a sincere way on the reality of the life that has ended. Most officiants will include in the ceremony a short period for quiet reflection, or private prayer.
Civil funerals
There is now another possible alternative for a civil funeral ceremony. Information on the website says:
April 2002 saw the launch of a new civil ceremony being offered for the first time in England, that of the Civil Funeral. The Civil Funeral ceremony is one of the suggestions for the Registration Service in the White Paper, Civil Registration: Vital Change, January 2002. The first Local Authorities able to perform Civil Funeral ceremonies are: Enfield, Barnet, Sutton, Hertfordshire, East Riding of Yorkshire, Newcastle, Liverpool and Cheshire with a further twelve Local Authorities coming on board in October 2002.
So why is a Civil Funeral different?
It is a ceremony that reflects the beliefs and values of the deceased rather than of the minister, officiant or celebrant. The ceremony is both a dignified tribute and a highly personal memoir, created by a professional Celebrant in consultation with the family. The Celebrant works closely with the Funeral Director and maintains personal involvement with the bereaved family throughout, from the initial meeting, through to creating and then leading the ceremony.
For further information see:Civil Ceremonies
CHOOSING A FUNERAL DIRECTOR
I was disappointed to discover that big business has reared its ugly head in the death business in the UK. Over 50% of funerals arranged in this country are arranged by either the Co-op or Dignity, which until recently was part of a huge American company and still seems to operate in a rather American way with a wonderful range of very expensive coffins etc. The latter also owns quite a lot of crematoriums over the UK and naturally favours this type of disposal. These companies have bought out many smaller independent funeral directors but still keep their local family names.
When I had to arrange my Father's funeral I didn't know anything about funerals at all. I went to the co-op because my Father had used them for my Mother's funeral. I actually had a very bad experience with them but was just too upset to complain. What can you do you can hardly say this isn't good enough let me have my Father and I'll take him somewhere else?
The funeral premises were being refurbished and the office was clearly not the usual client office. There were several funeral cartoons on the walls amusing perhaps for the undertakers but distressing for me. When I went to pay my last respects I was horrified to discover my Father was in an outside garage. The undertaker had not told me that the chapel of rest was being refurbished and they were using the hearse garage temporarily. All this and the fact that I was pressurised into buying a more expensive coffin than was necessary for a cremation left me feeling as if I had let my Father down rather badly. I would really recommend that you try and find a caring undertaker before you actually need one as this may help avoid undue distress.
It is worth checking out local funeral directors to see what they can offer but you needn't be restricted to local ones as there are several on the internet offering UK wide arrangements.
By far the most interesting and innovative funeral director I discovered was the Purple Funeral Company who offer traditional burial, 'green' burial, cremation, garden burial, burial at sea, ashes scattered at sea, vault and catacomb inhumation, and advice on cryogenics.
Another nice one is Peace funerals that arrange woodland burials and other alternative burials nationwide.
Sorry again for being very long but I hope you found it useful.
Further resources
If I Should DieA Quiet Funeral
Bury Me Right
Global Ideas Bank
UK Funerals
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